Kathy rounded out last week with someone else doing her writing for her, and another person thinking up her nutrition for her.
Thursday’s post is another guest post from another Registered Dietitian who blogs about “plant-based recipes”
and “food intolerance*” and, unlike Kathy, “offers nutrition consultations!” Guest blogger Alexandra says she almost never gives out calorie counts and meal plans because they’re pretty ineffective, which is funny because the former is what Kathy adhered to when trying to get to and stay at her 126-pound goal weight, and the latter because meal plans are what she’s trying now. So why don’t those things work?
I find that when my clients restrict their caloric intake by reducing portion size or skipping snacks, they do ok for a while… until they don’t.
Alexandra recommends eating foods with a lot of vitamins.
Simply stated, we should emphasize foods in our diet that are rich in vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals and antioxidants- and low in calories. Examples include fresh fruit, vegetables, and whole grains.
Examples also include sugar-free Red Bull and a bowl of swiss chard drizzled with melted gummy vitamins.
Craving a bowl of fettuccini? Me too! Add in some nutrient dense vegetables and a side salad. You still get to enjoy the flavor, texture, and comfort of pasta while filling up on fiber & water-rich vegetables.
Hungry for ten cigarettes and a whole tray of pink fuzzy slipper Nutty Butter cookies?
Grab a bowl of baby carrots and squirt a lemon in a glass of SodaStream seltzer and you’re all good!
Want to blend a canister of Funfetti frosting with an $8 bottle of cake-flavored vodka? Who gives a shit! Chase it down with a freshly cubed mango spritzed in lime juice and some raw almonds.
Anyway, fettuccine-recommending Alexandra says this works because
Nutrient dense eating cancels out the deprivation factor of traditional weight loss diets.
Oh. It’s just that easy. We could have all been eating fettuccine this whole time and losing weight. What the fuck have any of us been doing trying anything else?
After saying you’ll feel more full if you focus on protein and fat rather than stuff like carbohydrates, Alexandra ends with a pilaf recipe.
I don’t know what it is about carbs, but I generally can’t get enough of them! (I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s my Italian heritage : ) ) By adding green beans, cauliflower, carrots & tomatoes to this flavorful pilaf, I am still able to enjoy a large side of rice- by increasing the nutrient density of the dish! Now, I can almost enjoy double the amount of rice I normally would for the same amount of calories.
I’m not sure exactly what she’s saying, but I guess it means the next time I eat Shell station nachos in bed, the calories won’t absorb if I follow it with five bananas.
Here’s the final version of the pilaf. I don’t think Kathy made it. It looks very serene, and it has a tiny green bean handle.
The recipe looks like an okay introduction to rice pilaf for someone who’s new to Indian food, maybe.
Not Kathy, of course. She’d break out in hives if someone even thought of Thai green chilis around her.
My favorite part of the guest RD post, though, is in the comments, where women commiserate about what’s worked and not worked in dieting. One woman says, in part,
I’ve done the weight watcher,
which just makes me think of Olya Povlatsky on Saturday Night Live.
Friday’s post returned to long-suffering trainer Erin, who thought she was maybe going to get some cool local blogger buzz in exchange for a few easy weekly routines with someone who supposedly had tons of experience Body Pumping, yoga-ing, ballet-ing, and forcing her family into beach vacation “boot camp.”
Anyway, Kathy is doing SO AWESOME at working out, and shares her own routine. I don’t know anything about exercise because I try not to go outside — I nearly broke my ankle bringing in take-out from the car today.
This week we shifted from 18-20 reps down to 12-15 reps with heavier weight. I feel that this is my sweet spot for lifting so I am hoping for great results!
This apparently scares her, however because “heavy weight territory” makes her feel like
they might crush my spine like a cartoon picking up a barbell
Of all the times you pick to fear looking cartoonish, Kathy?
Kathy is absolutely amazing at the heavy weight lifting, however. She grabbed 20 pounds of vicious metal but her
hamstrings handled it with ease. The next thing I know she has me picking up a 50 pound kettlebell …. [which was] perfect – just enough to feel the burn by the end of our set. And not as bad as I thought.
She rattles off the rest of her exercises with the same care she devotes to describing meals:
some squats with a heavy cage-like bar
I hate all things calf!! Mine are big enough as they are
She includes the detail that she concluded the workout “glistening in sweat.”
Uh, she then does a workout that she tried loosely to tie in to
preparation for my trip to Key West
For example: the 10 of hearts would be 10 bounder burpees and when you drew another heart – say the 8 of hearts – you’d do 8 bicycle crunches.
Apparently, she and her sister broke up the hours they spent watching curling by doing this card workout and running in between each card and it was “really fun.” Gee, Kathy, are you enjoying exercise? That…. that would be a nice way for this shill to turn out.
One week to go!
Well. Guess that answers my question.
* I amuse myself by imagining that “food intolerance” is like some kind of militant, caloric supremacy, adhered to by humorless people who think rhubarb, mascarpone, and hazelnuts are pure evil.