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Kath Eats Real Food: Recaps, Day 151

I feel like I start out a lot of recaps by warning you guys to get out your beribboned baskets of condolence scuffs for poor Kath, as she frequently makes it sound like, whoa, dudes, hold on, like, things are HARD in Kerf-land… but just wait, because — thank fuck — she eventually realized that there was still nut butter in the world and so she managed to persevere. Thursday’s entry is one of those.

I don’t even know where to begin to tell you about this day. It was….unpredictable … Perhaps M is still adjusting from our travels, but we were up at least every hour (sometimes more) from 3-7am, and his days of decent napping are no more (for now, at least).

So she’s not getting a lot of sleep. Yes. This sucks. This sucks when it’s two cats in a new apartment. It sucks when you got a batch of salty pho and are up every hour because you’ve had too much salt. I can’t even begin to comprehend how awful it is when you have a child who does this for months… years… and you can’t just close the door on them, or have a glass of water and go back to sleep in five minutes. I really can’t.

I also can’t comprehend why it’s horrible to do it when you have her kind of schedule and lack of demands — and seriously, I’m in uncharted territory I have no reason to bash, but Kathy isn’t giving us much context about why it’s so horrible for her, when she got to stay in her “PJs all morning” and do “a lot of snuggling” and end up calling it “a really nice day.”

Props to all of you working moms who can be up all night and go to an office in the morning. You are strong.

And you are not, Kathy. And the fact that you start out with a clearly compliment-fishing whine makes you less so.

Let me tell you about the food!

Oh, please. Tell us about the disgusting toilet of oats and nut butter and heated cottage cheese (fucking YUCK) you made. And could you please describe this using awful, outdated casual speak on a topic you are supposed to write professionally about?

Sunflower butter for the win.

A few hours later, she ate “spinach salad with a half cup of hot lentils, avocado and goat cheese” — which I’m sure she called “Asiany” — and toasted someone’s leftover pitas stuffed with artichoke, peppers, avocado and cheese from her lame-ass party, with someone else’s edamame dip.

Then, she strollered the baby three whole miles so she could get a decaf cappuccino to throw around like an urban professional — you know, the kinds that get to spend their whole mornings snuggling in their pajamas and bitching about sleep before eating leftovers someone else made.

It was refreshing to get outside and walk.

I know, right? The morning had been awfully stressful up until that point, what with all the opportunities to get your rest back and prepare and eat meals most of us only have the time to accomplish once, maybe twice a week, because we have actual jobs and shit.

Thanks to Baby Carbz giving them “a short nap … Matt and I were able to put together a really nice dinner … Matt made us little toasty appetizers with melted cheese” and free halibut that Alaskan fish marketing association sent them. Too bad they burned the shit out of it.

we dunked it in egg and sun-dried tomato flavored panko I found at Whole Foods, then pan-seared and oven finished it. The pan was a wee bit hot so we got a good char on top, but it sure tasted good.

They also had slices of that regular bread they bought at Whole Foods, which just prompted Kathy to go into a frustrated revelry about how much she missed her fakery’s particular brand of allegedly undercooked honeyed bread:

I really enjoyed this bread, but I’m so excited for the Cville Crunch loaf Matt brought home today and the French toast I have planned for the morning!

They also had kale chips… with ketchup… prompting Kathy to make her second caveat of the night: firstly, that the bread with cheese on it wasn’t gigantic, it was just on tiny salad plates, gosh! And secondly, that the kale wasn’t burned, it was just the purple kind! Gosh, you guys! SHE’S SENSITIVE!

It really feels like a Monday and it’s so exciting that the weekend is just around the corner!

YOU DON’T WORK AND YOU HAD A FULL CHRISTMAS VACATION, WHAT IN GOD’S HOLY NAME ARE YOU BLATHERING ABOUT?


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