After an exhausting week not working to attend her sister’s wedding and eat free cake, Kathy and Bath Matt selflessly and tirelessly forced themselves to endure another weekend of wedding festivities — this time in Georgetown, home of Another College They Couldn’t Get Into No Matter How Many Harry Potters Were Read In Spanish.
The weekend started with Bath Matt going up by train to par-tay and Kathy staying at home to bravely soldier through that thing they have every Friday that’s for free where people eat out of Tupperware and sit on Slankets with their yapping children and listen to free music and she was asleep by 9 p.m., whereas the naughty Matt was PROBABLY up until dawn.
(I think we were getting up when Matt was going to bed!)
At least the seemingly loathsome carpenter has some kind of passion that can keep him up until dawn — even if it is just cutting loose with his frat brothers. Jesus. Way to be a Greek yogurt-soaked blanket, Kathy.
So she drove up with Bath Matt’s mom, who babysat Baby Carbz during the wedding, during which Kathy took this photo of their male “college buddies,” who look like they are realizing how hard it is to look Roger Sterlingdapper in a suit while consuming that much alcohol, even among a crowd that leans towards the sartorial statements of Too Excited To Wear Sunscreen Or Pick ONE neckline, or alternately, Whatever As Long As I Can Wear Hangover Shades:
Kathy decided to share with the world the fact that she wore silver cork sandals to the ceremony before putting on denim flats for a walk a few blocks to the reception, because you know how delicious your feet will feel after two freaking minutes in the rank-smelling, sodden, swamp-rot inducement that is a Payless shoe.
Once there, she took photos of the venue’s “historic picturesque garden setting,” er, its standard EXIT-signed doorways
and herself and Bath Matt standing outside, he in a tux, she in her PAYLESS DENIM FLATS, scuffins looking cinched/Photoshopped to the buttercream-loving sky.
Because apparently LOFT makes whalebone corset wrap dresses now. Who knew. So they stood there and “sipped” booze and “nibbled on passed apps,” which sounds too much like a kidney stone for comfort, until the groom and his cummerbund — oh, and his bride — showed up. Seriously, dude, that tight scrap of satin looks like it’s making you a little too happy.
The groom was one of Bath Matt’s frat brothers, and the people in the background are amazing.
Slender Drew Carey, at left, is keeping a passel of women out of the dance room while being very intimate with a beer. Steve Buscemi, on the right, having forgotten where the rest of his axes are, is regretting that surf rock phase of his when he was 15, holds his turquoise guitar and thinks about the indiscretions of his past.
Finally, the Younger-Smugsons ate something that was totally better than Larbs’ buffet: Kathy, “as per usual,” describes it with her most shining praise by saying (twice) that the meal and the salad were “one of the best [she's] ever had.” With one sentence between these two vows of best-ness. Because that is evocative, descriptive language that totally doesn’t sound like you thought it up on the bus ride to school:
I feel like buffets are so popular, but this was a night where a plated dinner really shone…
…Buffalo mozzarella with watercress with sliced grapes, edible flowers, parmesan [sic] crisps in a lavender-honey-lime vinaigrette. Underneath it all was a pistachio pesto of sorts. Incredible! The main course was a perfectly rare* beef tenderloin topped with sautéed mushrooms and spinach, Maryland crabcake with a peppercorn sauce, sweet corn soufflé, asparagus and tomatoes. I couldn’t decide which of the flavors I liked the most!
She also calls the Oreo truffles the bride made “First Dessert,” because she is such a self-proclaimed nerd, having read Tolkien like once. Also, the cake had black fondant cicadas on top
and Kathy, in comments — after letting her urges to obliterate the cake get the best of her scant ability to assemble subjects and verbs —
OREO cake!! Gah I loved this filling. They also had red velvet and carrot cake. I had bites of all three from friends – but the Oreo was my fav.
— ravenously says she would have eaten ALL OF IT. (Even after looking at those sweat-stained denim flats?)
Uh, how’s that quest for perfect “satiety” going again? Oh, you’re still eating off other people’s plates? Carry on.
* As opposed to imperfectly rare. Or “well-done.”